There’s that saying, “Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.” Not to be confused with the saying, “Be careful what you blog about, because you might actually have to believe and live by what you wrote.” Okay, so it’s not a common saying and probably won’t make its way onto a bumper sticker or t-shirt – but it applied to me.
The other night I wrote about how difficult it is for me (and most of us) to ask for help. So naturally, yesterday I was faced with a situation in which I had to ask for help. I’m working with Shine.fm on their pledge drive this week and got sick. If you have ever had to do a pledge drive you could see how someone could get sick, but I don’t think the two things are related.
At first, I thought I was just tired. I remember in the morning telling someone I felt light-headed. As the morning went on, I felt worse. Me being me, I didn’t say anything to anyone. I hate asking for help and I never want to feel like I’m letting someone down. I couldn’t bail on pledge drive, so I began to stick it out. I was beginning to feel nauseous and I couldn’t concentrate. I’m sure I wasn’t very coherent on the air and I know I stumbled around.
Someone told me later that when they talked to me on the phone, I sounded disoriented and out of it. I’m sure I said a lot of things that didn’t make sense. In fact, I want to apologize to the puppy I proposed to. I didn’t mean it. I’m already married. And I’m going to need the ring back.
I had a two-hour break, so I went to go take a nap. That didn’t help – unless you count throwing up three times. About 15 minutes before I was supposed to go back on the air, I called the station from the car to check in. I was hoping I might not be needed, but didn’t want to tell them I was sick. They sensed something was wrong. And then my blog from the night before ran through my brain – tell them you can’t see straight, much less talk straight. So I did. They then yelled at me and said I was weak and letting them down. Of course not – they told me to go rest and to not worry about it.
That was a hard thing for me to do. But trying to go on the radio and raise money when I can barely function is probably harder. Although, driving back to my hotel trying not to hurl was pretty hard, too. Asking for help, paled in comparison to the humbling experience of throwing up in the parking lot of my hotel.
So after some rest, a friend texted me saying if I needed them to bring me anything like 7-Up and crackers. I said no, not wanting to inconvenience them. A little while later, I thought, “that actually sounds helpful.” So when someone else texted me asking the same thing later, I swallowed my pride (one of the few things I was able to keep down) and said yes.
Darn blog! It’s just like God to do that. My own words challenged and convicted me. You have to be careful with that. It’s like the people who pray, “God I’ll go anywhere – just don’t send me to Africa”, usually end up in Africa. They are usually thankful for it in the long run, too.
So there you have it. Another growth experience for me … Excuse me while I run off to go make my “Be careful what you blog about, because you might actually have to believe and live by what you wrote” merchandise … and to go apologize to the people at the Hampton Inn for puking in their parking lot.