Archive for the ‘Faith’ Category

I love sports.  For those that know me, that’s not a surprise at all.  As tempting as it is to write about Tim Tebow (because there seems to be a huge void of writings on Tim Tebow … frankly, I’m worried that the guy might be underexposed, but what can ya do)  I figured most people would be more interested in a retired baseball they probably never heard of.

As big of a baseball fan that I am, I can honestly say I didn’t remember the brief career of Ben Petrick.  I just learned of him last week when reading ESPN the Magazine and their “Next” issue.  The main purpose of the “Next” issue is to highlight athletes they believe are going to be the next big stars in sports.  About 10 – 12 years ago, Petrick may have been a candidate for the “Next” issue, but not today.

Petrick was a star high school baseball player and football player.  In his senior year, he scored 24 touchdowns on his way to leading his team to the Oregon state high school football title.  That same year he was also named Oregon’s baseball player of the year.  He was so good in football, that many pro baseball teams – fearful he might go to Arizona State to play football – passed on him in the first round.  The Colorado Rockies would draft him in the second round, with the Rockies GM saying his talent had “no ceiling”.

He was called a “5-tool player” – meaning he excelled at all 5 phases of the game (hit for power, hit for a high batting average, field, run and throw).  His main position of catcher is usually associated with someone slow of foot, but Petrick was such a tremendous athlete he could also play centerfield (arguably a position best suited for someone fast).

When he finally made the big league team, Petrick would not disappoint.  Called up at the end of the season from the minors, in 19 games, he’d hit 4 home runs and bat .323.  If you don’t know baseball – those are great numbers.

So you might be surprised that his career only lasted 240 games over the course of about 5 seasons in the big leagues.  His promising career wasn’t cut short by drugs or even by a knee injury.  It was Parkinson’s.

He discovered he had the disease just after his first full season with the Rockies.  He wouldn’t disclose it (not even to teammates and managers) until after he retired in 2004.  In between, Petrick would take medication to control the spasms in his hands and legs.  After awhile, Parkinsons took it’s toll on Petrick’s performance.  The Rockies would trade him to the Detroit Tigers, where he only played 43 games before being released.  After a short minor-league stint with the San Diego Padres organization, Petrick would call it quits.

You hear his story and it’s quick to think that it just seems unfair for a person, so young, to have a promising career taken away. Petrick would say the initial disappointment would shake him.  He would say that he left Portland as high school superstar and the envy of people; he returned as a man in his mid-twenties pitied by people.

It’s natural to have a deep sense of loss – even fear – when something is taken away from you.  When you can no longer do the things that you love.  When you can no longer do the thing that defined you.  You can let your trials and difficulties now define you.  And Petrick did.

And that’s not always bad if you don’t let it keep you from moving forward and finding purpose in that pain.  And Petrick did.

In the years right after his retirement, Petrick got married to his high school sweetheart (who he initially thought wouldn’t be interested in marrying him given his Parkinson’s).  Become a dad. He’s helped with his old high school football and baseball teams.  He writes a blog called Faith in the Game (with a book on the way).  And he’s become active in Parkinson’s causes.

Petrick puts it well when he says, “Each day I get a little stronger about being weaker.”

And with that, Petrick is poised to be the Next superstar in a much bigger place than a baseball field.

 

Happy New Year!  I’ve never been one for New Year resolutions.  Not that I have anything against them or have had issues keeping them – I just haven’t done them much.  Over the last couple of years I’ve done the “one word”-thing – where one word represents a particular focus you have for the year.  I’ll probably do that again this year, too.

That’s not to say there are not some things I want to accomplish this year. On the contrary, there are a number of things I’d like to do this year.  So instead of presenting it like a “resolution” – I thought I would make a 2012 “to-do” list.  I feel like I generally do well with to-do lists, so here it goes …

- Blog three times a week

- Run two 5K’s

- Go on more dates with my wife – about 4-6 of them

- Eat healthier, including some sort of green vegetable somewhat regularly (that’s for you, mom)

- More quality time with my son Evan – and quality for Evan involves quantity

- Lower my cholesterol

- Be more focused in my spiritual life (I know that’s vague, but it makes sense to me)

- Become “handier” learn or teach myself on how to build or fix at least a handful of things

- Dub all our old video camera tapes on DVD and/or hard drive

- Do some sort of family mission or outreach trip together (could be local)

- Go on 3-4 dates with my daughter Olivia

- Be more selfless

- Read 4 books

- Save money

- Give more

 

… that’s a good start.  I plan on making a copy of this blog and schedule it to post sometime in June, to give me a mid-year check and to have an additional copy of this post to go live on 12/30/12 to see how I did this year.

 

Disclaimer – To be safe, if you under the age of 12 please don’t read this.  Or at least, get your parents permission first.  And you really shouldn’t be on the internet without your parents permission anyway.  And don’t do drugs and stay in school.

“I just want you to tell me the truth!”

“Mom – just tell me the truth!”

“I know he’s not real … just tell me.”

These were just a few things my son Evan said to my wife Julie the other night.  More like passionately pleaded to my wife Julie.  She said he almost had tears in his eyes.

Within the Christian community, I know there are some people who are anti-Santa.  After all, you play Scrabble with his name and you get “Satan”.  And most axe-murderers will tell you that their path to destruction all started because they were led to believe in Santa.

As you can probably tell, I’m not in the anti-Santa crowd.  But I do respect those who choose not to include St. Nick in their celebrations.  And my point in this blog is to not debate or sway you one or other, anyway.  My point is that I grew up with Santa, Julie did, too.  We haven’t had a faith crisis as a result of believing in Santa.  We never had trust issues with our parents because they “lied” to us about the fat guy in the red suit and white beard.  Again, that’s an argument someone else can have.

At some point you stop believing.  I honestly can’t remember when or how this happened with me.  I know it was relatively early in my life – maybe 2nd or 3rd grade?  But it obviously was not traumatic, because I have no emotional scars.  I’ve heard stories from other people that learning that Santa and the reindeer don’t actually bring the presents was a very difficult thing.

With both our kids, we always knew that with each year it could be the last year for Santa.  If you’ve done the Santa thing – you know it’s fun.  What’s not to love about lying to your kids and deceiving ‘em?  Am I right or am I right?  (that was sarcasm, by the way).

Evan is 11.  For the last few years we kind of figured he “knew”, but was playing along.  He’s asked questions for a few years now.  Usually, Julie was the lucky one to be on the receiving end of those questions.  To add a a degree of difficulty to the questions, he would ask in front of his younger sister – who couldn’t believe more in Santa if she were an elf!

His interrogation of Julie the other night was the latest inquisition.  In the past, Julie would typically reply to him, “Well, what do you think?”  He typically said he thought he was real or he wasn’t sure, but he rarely pushed it.

The other night was different.  Julie said there was an urgency.  She said it was his direct request to know “the truth” that killed her.  With Olivia present, she said that they could talk about it another time.  But in Julie’s eyes and heart – it was time.

That’s where Dad came in, AKA – “Santa Killer”.  When I got home from work, Julie said, “You have to tell him.  He was drilling me with questions last night in front of Olivia.  When he gets home from school, you should tell him.”

Given that he is 11.  Given that I’m sure the majority of his classmates “don’t believe”.  Given his line of questions, I figured there might be some disappointment, but mostly a shrug of his shoulders, like – “I kind of figured.”

What happened?  Well, it was like I killed Santa.  It hurt and it hurt bad!!!!

“I really didn’t want to know!!”

“So he’s not real?”

“That was my favorite part of Christmas!”

“I’ve ruined Christmas!  I wish I wasn’t so curious!”

For a few hours (yes, hours) there was some mourning.  There was crying.  There was a sense of loss.  And if I could’ve taken it all back, I would have.  It was heartbreaking.

Like a lot of things in life – we know, but we really don’t want to know.  We thought he wanted confirmation that Santa wasn’t real; instead he wanted reassurance that he was.  Because if we told him Santa was real, it was okay for him to still believe and enjoy the magic of Santa.

Because Santa is fun.  There is something fun about the fairytale aspect to it.  It’s fun for kids, but it’s fun for parents too.  And so that’s why we also dreaded the day of no more Santa.  That’s why there was a sense of loss for us, too.  We know it’s just a matter of time before Olivia joins this club, too.

But here’s the cool thing Santa-haters … it did also provide an opportunity.  Julie, the brains of the operation, swooped in when I was at a loss for words and reminded Evan – that Santa and Christmas trees and presents and reindeer are all fun, but Christmas has been and always will be about Jesus.  That will never change.  And we just don’t celebrate Him for a day or for a season.

So the other “stuff” of Christmas is fun.  And yes, it can get out of balance or distract us.  But the reality is we do things everyday that have the potential to get us out of balance or distract us – it doesn’t necessarily make those things bad. Birthday parties, movies, TV shows, people, work … everything … can take our focus off of Christ, but chances are you’ll still do those things.  And that’s okay, unless they do take you some place you shouldn’t be.

As corny as it sounds, we really do need to “celebrate” Jesus everyday of our lives

Side-note for anyone who will ever have the “Santa talk” – having this kind of conversation is kind of like breaking up with someone.  You really should prepare for anything.  Will they take it well and be fine with just being friends?  Or will they go completely psycho on you?  You should be ready for both … just in case.  Um, yeah.  We thought a shrug … it was more like weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Oh … and think timing, too.  I’m guessing this would have been an easier and better conversation if this happened on December 26th … or July 26th … or if someone else told him.  You know, hear it on the streets.  That’s what I’m planning on when it comes to the “birds and bees” conversation.  I’m kidding.  That actually might be an easier conversation, though.

Just Relax

Posted: November 1, 2011 in Faith, Family, Health, Julie, Kids, Life, Work
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

How many times have you heard yourself saying a variation of the phrase, “When things slow down I’ll finally be able to (fill in the blank)”?

If you haven’t figured this out by now – and I apologize if I burst any bubbles here – things never slow down.  Oh, there may be variations of busyness, but typically we are all busy people.

We are not only busy, but we have a tendency to fill our time with more things than we used to, plus we have more things that can pre-occupy our time, too.

We live in a world so busy that we say things like, “I need to catch up on watching my favorite TV show.”  Think about that.  So busy that something that should be done for leisure, becomes a task to stay up on.  Even relaxing has become a bit of a chore and something to be squeezed in.

Kids don’t have a problem with this.  My son Evan seems to worry about how much he can play.  He talks about getting up early so he can play more.  He asks how much time we have before we have to go to church so that he can get in some playing.  The other day he was happy that his little league game ended earlier than expected, because now he could go home and play.  Apparently, the 3 hours of playing baseball got in the way of playing football with his friends.

While not at the frenetic playing pace of her brother, my daughter Olivia knows how to relax.  Last spring, she counted down the days until the end of school in anticipation to what she said was getting back to her “regular life.”  Not school.  ”Regular life” meant playing and relaxing.

Even our dog gets it – except it’s sleeping.  I believe he takes naps to recover from napping.  Often times, he looks plain exhausted and I wonder if laying around on the couch all day wore him out?

My wife is nothing like our dog (do I seriously know how to sweet talk my lady or what?).  Julie is forever busy.  I believe she feels guilty if she’s not busy and doing something productive.  The kind of person that is so busy and productive that you feel like you are a sloth in comparison.  I have to remind her that it’s okay for her to sit on the couch and do nothing.  That she has permission to relax.

Our schedules and lives can be consuming.  I mean, have you ever thought about your week ahead of you and started freaking out?  Kid’s activities, family obligations, work, church stuff, things that need to get done around the house, shopping, etc.  How many of you just had a minor panic attack at that list?

It can be overwhelming.  I get it.  Yet, the things that can help the most – sleeping, relaxing, playing – are the things we generally don’t have time for.

I can’t say I have a clear cut answer how to get there, because I’m in the same boat.

Maybe we can be more like kids.  Heck, maybe someday I’ll even compare you to my dog.

 

My church is doing something called “The Strong Journey”.  A number of churches across the country are also doing it now, too.  It’s a six-week series intended to strengthen your faith.  You may have guessed that from the “strong” part of “Strong Journey.”

In addition to the Sunday services and small group “Home Team” meetings during the week, you are given a set of challenges each week to do and then journal about them.  Today’s challenge – “Be Grateful”.  I was instructed to do the following:

“Make a list in your journal of at least ten things for which you are grateful.  Whether it’s a vintage motorcycle or your mom’s hugs, write a one-line thank-you note to God for each of these sweet blessings.”

Here’s what I wrote in my journal today …

1) Julie – I’m so grateful for my beautiful wife, who is my best friend.  You love and support me unconditionally.

2) Evan – Thank you for Evan and his passion for life.  And while we share many of the same interests, let me learn and be inspired by our differences.

3) Olivia – You are the apple of my eye.  Your smile and laugh light up my life.  I see so much of me in you and want nothing but the best for you.

4) My parents/family – I’m thankful for growing up in a home with so much love and joy.  I’m thankful for the continued support of my dreams.

5) My church – I’m thankful for finding a church I feel that I share the same DNA with.  That is filled with biblical truth and compassion.  That is inviting to everyone to “come as you are.”

6) My job – For God’s provision and the ability to work at a job that I love and with people who I love and respect.  And humbled by the opportunities God gives me each day.

7) My home – Blessed to have shelter and a lovely home to share with others.

8) Friends – People who bring me joy and who have been there for me on my hardest days.

9) Sports – For being such a fun diversion for me and something that I can share with friends and family.

10) Laughter/Silliness – I’m thankful for mindless, silly humor.

 

I’m sure others have done lists similar to this, but this is the first time I can recall truly writing these things down.  At first it sounded a bit like homework, but I was surprised at how easy it was for me to come up with these things.  That’s probably a good sign.

So what are you grateful for?  Whether it’s simple or big things, I encourage you to take a moment this week to jot down ten things you are grateful for. Often times its so easy to lean towards the negative, but this “homework” will give you an opportunity to reflect on how much you have to be thankful and grateful for … and I’m going to bet it’s more than just ten things, too.

Working It Out

Posted: October 11, 2011 in Death, Exercise, Faith, Humor, Life
Tags: , , , ,

Today on the show we did some working out with pumpkins.  There would have been a time, where the thought of working out with anything would have chased me away.  But that’s been an area of growth for me.

It’s never a good sign when you are nearly passed out on the floor of the local gym.  But that was pretty much the scenario about a year and a half ago.  Our trainer, Zach, went and got me a power bar to “revive” me as I laid on the floor with my arms stretched above my head.  Sadly, this wasn’t the result of an intense workout.  This was the initial fitness evaluation the gym did for new members.

I want to point out that I went into that evaluation not having anything to eat all day long!  Which wasn’t smart, but I really can’t use that as the total reason for my pathetic showing.  I blame it on being deceptively out of shape.  Because I wasn’t overweight, I felt like Zach must have thought I could handle a tough evaluation.  Okay, it was probably a normal evaluation and he thought there was no need to go easy on me.  Nearly dying on the floor, may have changed his mind.

The fact of the matter, was that in nearly 40 years of life that was the first time I worked out at gym.  My form of exercise, save for a period of time when I got into doing sit-ups, consisted of playing basketball with my son and chasing my kids around.  I was out of shape, but didn’t necessarily look like it.

I avoided gyms for the reasons many people do …

It’s hard … it’s expensive … I’m intimidated … I won’t know how to do anything … people will stare at me.

Those were just excuses.

And if those excuses sound familiar, it’s because you’ve probably used some or all of them at some point of your life.  It might not have been the gym.  Maybe it was your relationship with God or going to church.

Sometimes the very thing we need, we avoid. Because we are afraid or intimidated or worry that we won’t know what to do.

The very place I could go to get healthier, was the place I avoided for so long.

As I was laying on the floor feeling like I was going to die or at the very least, die of embarrassment, I remember thinking “there’s no way I want to come back to do this again.”  I didn’t die that day.  In fact, I’ve continued to go to the gym on a consistent basis ever since.

I’m not sure if there’s something place in your life – whether that’s a physical or spiritual place – that you are avoiding.  Just know that you probably won’t die.  You’ll get healthier.  You may even get a free power bar out of the deal.

Call me an optimist.  Call me naive.  Call me soft.  But I never want to assume that I know that someone is in Hell.

I do believe in Hell.

I do believe in Heaven.

I believe there is only one way to Heaven and that is through Jesus Christ.

I wanted to put that out there so I wasn’t misunderstood.

Why am I even talking about Heaven and Hell?  Well, let me back up a little here, first.

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs died yesterday.  Unless you completely isolated yourself from any type of media in the last 24-hours you have surely heard the news.  If you weren’t aware of who Jobs was, his background and his vast accomplishments before yesterday, you probably now have a pretty good of who he was and what he did.

Technology-wise, it’s hard to argue that anyone has had a greater influence in the last 10-years.  The iPod and iTunes have revolutionized the music industry.  The iPhone quickly became the smartest of the smart phones and the standard by which every other phone tries to measure up too.  Not to mention Macbook computers, iPads, etc.

In the last day or so, the media and social networking have celebrated his life and accomplishments.  Those celebrations are warranted and well-deserved.  Curiously – and it seems like this often happens when a celebrity dies – you’ll hear a very small fraction of people say something to the effect of, “All that money and all those accomplishments and he’s in Hell now.”

Yikes!

“Well, I never heard him say anything about being a Christian?”

“In fact, apparently he was even a Buddhist.”

“So while I like my iPhone and stuff, that doesn’t get you into Heaven.”

I wouldn’t disagree with those last three sentences.  Yet, I don’t feel like I can say he’s in Hell.  I’m not going soft on ya.  I’m not saying “the road is broad” to get to Heaven.  I’m getting all Rob Bell on ya.  That’s probably not fair to Rob Bell, since I never read his book.  I did read stuff from people who freaked out about Bell’s book (many who didn’t read it either).  The point I’m trying to make, though, isn’t in that same ballpark, so to speak.

I’m just saying I don’t know.

I don’t know what kinds of decisions Jobs made in the last months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds of his life. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that those who made those comments about him being in Hell, don’t know either.  And I would hope that if somehow I really did think or believe he was there, I wouldn’t be flippant about it either.

“Yeah, you made a fancy iPad, but that doesn’t get you into Heaven.”

I would hope that I would grieve the fact that could be his fate.  That it would make me sad, rather than feel like that’s what you get for not being in our awesome Christian club.  That it would be another opportunity to examine my life.  That it if I truly feared or worried “where” he might be, that it would motivate me more to share God’s love with those around me.  That I would judge the dead less and love the living more.

I admit I’m an optimist.  I want to hold out hope for Jobs or anyone else.  I always want to cling to the idea that it’s never too late for anyone.  Anyone.

I know there were two thieves who were crucified right next to Jesus.  I know Jesus promised one of them that he would be with him in paradise.  If we didn’t know about the exchange that took place between Jesus and the one thief, it might be really easy to assume that Hell would be his fate.  But of course we have the benefit of “knowing” where he would be because it was shared by the only one who knows for sure.

In the final moments of his life, it wasn’t too late for that thief.

And as far as I know, it may not have been too late for the other thief, too.

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this before … today I started at a new radio station.  I pretty much wrote the same thing almost a month ago. Today, like on August 29th, I actually started at a radio station (Air 1) that I used to work for – so it’s not really a “new” station.  But it’s new this month, anyway.

This wasn’t the plan, by the way.  When I left K-LOVE on July 29th I had no idea if I was going to work in radio again.  In fact, many people assumed I wouldn’t just based on how I was talking at the time.  I didn’t have anything against radio – in reality, it’s the only profession I’ve had since college – it’s just that I was at a point in my life that if I didn’t do it anymore, I’d be okay with it.  Call it being at peace.  Call it being more open to what God may have in store for me besides radio.

A little over a month ago I wrote about the 180/360 degree scenario that brought me back to Shine.fm.  I didn’t expect that opportunity, but was extremely thankful for it.  I actually was doing that part-time (which was something I suggested to them … for a number of reasons).  Even though it was part-time, I wasn’t actively seeking anything else. I would not have guessed that I’d be leaving so soon.

Through a series of events – I’d need charts and graphs to adequately explain – I ended being offered the morning show co-host role at Air 1.  Air 1 is the sister network of K-LOVE.  It’s morning show studios are down the hall from K-LOVE.  Surreal.  This was seven weeks after leaving K-LOVE.

I wish I could take credit for it.  That I had some big master plan, but I’m not nearly that smart and even if I was, I don’t think my brain could have ever constructed such a plan.  I wish I could say it’s because I have such dynamic faith, but I’m a work in progress in that area.

The last couple of weeks I’ve asked myself a number of times, “What the heck just happened?”  I’m not sure.  Trying to figure “why” things have happen in life and when they happen can be a fun or heartbreaking exercise depending on the situation.  I mean, I’ve definitely have seen some purpose in my two month exodus. I started this blog and rediscovered my passion for writing.  I made a football field in backyard.  I renewed a relationship with my old Shine.fm friends, which was very healing and rewarding.  Got to sleep later.  Rode on Space Mountain. Almost got trapped in the trunk of my car.  Lots of valuable stuff.

Oddly enough, a blog post from a new co-worker of mine, Brant Hansen, really has got stuck in my head the last week or so.   This idea of us seeking resolution in our lives, when that’s not realistic.  I know that because over the last few months, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve begun a conversation with, “Well, you’re not going to believe what happened today …”  And some days you can’t wait for tomorrow and other days you hope never end.

Our story never ends.  It’s really tempting for me to take a deep breath and say, “whew, so that’s why all that happened!”  Like this is the destination.  I’m not saying I want to jump from thing to thing – I like my gig doing the morning show with Mandy and hope I can do it for a long, long time.  I’m just more aware that God is continually working.  So what got me here today, could have  a completely different look and feel tomorrow … next month … next year, etc, etc.

I’m thankful and grateful for where I am today … which is Air 1.  Tomorrow, well, ya never know.  I once worked for Sears selling Halloween costumes and it is October … so don’t be surprised if they come a calling.

I just finished reading an article on one of my all-time favorite athletes, Walter Payton, and my overall feeling is sadness.

As a kid growing up in Chicago in the late ’70′s and ’80′s, before Michael Jordan ruled the city – there was Walter Payton.  For many years, Payton played brilliantly on some pretty bad Chicago Bears teams.  He would eventually win a Super Bowl with the Bears towards the end of his career.  Not only was he was the best player on the team (by far), but he was arguably the best player of his era and one of the best of all-time.

He was smooth, but powerful.  A showman, but humble.  Payton played 13 seasons and only missed one game.  He seemingly could do anything on the football field – run the ball, catch the ball and even pass the ball.  And when his career was over, he held the record for the most rushing yards in NFL history.

“Sweetness”, as he was called, seemed to enjoy the game more than anyone else on the field.  He always had a smile on his face and was known to be a practical joker. And at the same time, no one worked harder.  His off-season workouts were legendary.

I loved watching Payton play football.  And every kid I knew pretended to be him when playing football in the neighborhood.  He was our favorite player.  He was our hero.

Two days before my 29th birthday, Walter Payton died.  Earlier that year a tearful Payton would announce he was suffering from rare liver disease called primary sclerosing cholangitis (PSC).  Reading the article in Sports Illustrated today (which was put together from excerpts from a controversial new book on Payton), brought back the sadness I felt the day he died.

The article made me sad for another reason.  I was hoping it would be a nice trip down memory lane – remembering the man and player I loved watching so much as a kid.  I was even thinking that my son Evan could read the article, because he knows how Payton was my favorite football player (Evan put my old Walter Payton poster up in the basement).  Instead, the article largely detailed a side of Payton I never knew.  A side, that seemingly, only a few knew.  A not-so-positive side.

Payton apparently carried on an affair for many years.  Abused pain medication.  At times was distant from his kids. Dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide.

I’ve heard how many have denounced the article and book.  The overall feeling is “what is their to gain” by trashing a man’s reputation, who doesn’t have the ability to defend it.  I would agree with that.  That does make me sad.

I’m also sad because he was a hero of mine.  I’m sad thinking that his kids, who have already lost their father, now have to deal with the hurt that comes with these things being made public. I’m sad because we typically build people up, only to later look for ways to tear them down.  I’m sad thinking of those who will be disillusioned by this book.  I’m sad thinking of those who will be further jaded by this news, too.

Sadly, I am a bit disillusioned.  I’m also a bit jaded.  Part of me wants to say, “Should we really be surprised?”  And really we shouldn’t.  But not because he was just “another athlete” who seemed to be such a “good guy”, but wasn’t who we thought he was. The reality is you can change out “another athlete” with “another celebrity” or “another politician”.  The reality is, you can change out “another athlete” with “another human being”.  With me.  With you.

I get sad because the Payton detailed in the article is how many will now view him.  For many, that will be their last impression of him.  While others will be in denial – either not believing the article or saying “what difference does it make?”

We do that.  Hero or jerk.  He has to be one or the other, right?  We pick sides.  We pick parts of people’s lives, either their biggest moments or most egregious sins and we define them.  But we never know someone’s whole story.  I don’t know all the amazing things Walter Payton may have done (or not done) for humanity.  I don’t know if he ever felt regret or remorse.  I don’t know if he ever sought forgiveness or tried to make amends.  I don’t know if his life ended with refusal or redemption.  That’s the danger when we try to define a life.

The truth of the matter is that we all have our “heroic” qualities and moments.  We also all have those qualities and moments that we are not so proud of.  The majority of us won’t have those parts of our life published and publicized for the world to hear (whether we are alive or dead).

For as much of a hero as he was on the football field, Walter Payton was all human.  I won’t try to justify the “sins” of Walter Payton.  Saying we’re human doesn’t give us a free pass to do whatever we want.  But the reality is that being human, means being flawed.  It means that despite our best efforts, we’ll mess up.  We’ll disappoint.  We’ll disillusion.  Even those who appear to have it altogether.

My sins may very well be different from those of Walter Payton, but I’m a sinner none-the-less.  When I’m dead, I’d hate for those sins to define me and define my “legacy”.  Especially since they don’t tell my whole story.

That’s Just Like God …

Posted: September 29, 2011 in Faith, Humor, Life, Work
Tags: , , , , ,

There’s that saying, “Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.”  Not to be confused with the saying, “Be careful what you blog about, because you might actually have to believe and live by what you wrote.”  Okay, so it’s not a common saying and probably won’t make its way onto a bumper sticker or t-shirt – but it applied to me.

The other night I wrote about how difficult it is for me (and most of us) to ask for help.  So naturally, yesterday I was faced with a situation in which I had to ask for help.  I’m working with Shine.fm on their pledge drive this week and got sick.  If you have ever had to do a pledge drive you could see how someone could get sick, but I don’t think the two things are related.

At first, I thought I was just tired.  I remember in the morning telling someone I felt light-headed.  As the morning went on, I felt worse.  Me being me, I didn’t say anything to anyone. I hate asking for help and I never want to feel like I’m letting someone down.  I couldn’t bail on pledge drive, so I began to stick it out.  I was beginning to feel nauseous and I couldn’t concentrate.  I’m sure I wasn’t very coherent on the air and I know I stumbled around.

Someone told me later that when they talked to me on the phone, I sounded disoriented and out of it.  I’m sure I said a lot of things that didn’t make sense.  In fact, I want to apologize to the puppy I proposed to.  I didn’t mean it.  I’m already married.  And I’m going to need the ring back.

I had a two-hour break, so I went to go take a nap.  That didn’t help – unless you count throwing up three times.  About 15 minutes before I was supposed to go back on the air, I called the station from the car to check in.  I was hoping I might not be needed, but didn’t want to tell them I was sick.  They sensed something was wrong.  And then my blog from the night before ran through my brain – tell them you can’t see straight, much less talk straight.  So I did.  They then yelled at me and said I was weak and letting them down.  Of course not – they told me to go rest and to not worry about it.

That was a hard thing for me to do.  But trying to go on the radio and raise money when I can barely function is probably harder.  Although, driving back to my hotel trying not to hurl was pretty hard, too.  Asking for help, paled in comparison to the humbling experience of throwing up in the parking lot of my hotel.

So after some rest, a friend texted me saying if I needed them to bring me anything like 7-Up and crackers.  I said no, not wanting to inconvenience them.  A little while later, I thought, “that actually sounds helpful.”  So when someone else texted me asking the same thing later, I swallowed my pride (one of the few things I was able to keep down) and said yes.

Darn blog!  It’s just like God to do that.  My own words challenged and convicted me.  You have to be careful with that.  It’s like the people who pray, “God I’ll go anywhere – just don’t send me to Africa”, usually end up in Africa.  They are usually thankful for it in the long run, too.

So there you have it.  Another growth experience for me … Excuse me while I run off to go make my “Be careful what you blog about, because you might actually have to believe and live by what you wrote” merchandise … and to go apologize to the people at the Hampton Inn for puking in their parking lot.