When Did This Happen?

I still have a full head of hair, but I’ve noticed a few gray hairs.

I take medication on a daily basis, but I don’t need one of those “days of the week” pill containers.

My body aches from doing work around the house, yet I’m arguably in the best shape I’ve been in 10-15 years.

On the other hand …

I haven’t started driving really slow with my right turn signal on forever.

I haven’t hiked my pants up past my belly button.

I haven’t started complaining about the “music the kids are listening to.”

I haven’t had to ask my children how to operate a computer, DVD player or video game system

On the other hand …

I don’t get the appeal of Jersey Shore or the Kardashians

I’ve never seen any of those Twilight movies

I’ve yet to wear black athletic socks with sandals

I’m not planking

Last year I turned 40.  Today I turned 41.  For whatever reason, I’m more conscious of my age on this birthday.  Maybe because I went from a station where I was of the younger people on staff, to a station where I’m one of the “older” people on the team.

That’s the thing – for the longest time, I always felt like I was always one of the “young people”.  Now it seems like I’m not one of them anymore.  Not that I don’t fit in.  Just somehow I passed over that line, where I’m on the other side of the young/old divide in most situations I’m in.

The other day someone said I looked like I could be 35.  I thanked them.  That’s now a compliment.

When did this happen?

They say (whoever they are) that age is just a number.  I used to think that was just something old people said.  Now, I kind of get that.  Yikes!

Just Relax

How many times have you heard yourself saying a variation of the phrase, “When things slow down I’ll finally be able to (fill in the blank)”?

If you haven’t figured this out by now – and I apologize if I burst any bubbles here – things never slow down.  Oh, there may be variations of busyness, but typically we are all busy people.

We are not only busy, but we have a tendency to fill our time with more things than we used to, plus we have more things that can pre-occupy our time, too.

We live in a world so busy that we say things like, “I need to catch up on watching my favorite TV show.”  Think about that.  So busy that something that should be done for leisure, becomes a task to stay up on.  Even relaxing has become a bit of a chore and something to be squeezed in.

Kids don’t have a problem with this.  My son Evan seems to worry about how much he can play.  He talks about getting up early so he can play more.  He asks how much time we have before we have to go to church so that he can get in some playing.  The other day he was happy that his little league game ended earlier than expected, because now he could go home and play.  Apparently, the 3 hours of playing baseball got in the way of playing football with his friends.

While not at the frenetic playing pace of her brother, my daughter Olivia knows how to relax.  Last spring, she counted down the days until the end of school in anticipation to what she said was getting back to her “regular life.”  Not school.  ”Regular life” meant playing and relaxing.

Even our dog gets it – except it’s sleeping.  I believe he takes naps to recover from napping.  Often times, he looks plain exhausted and I wonder if laying around on the couch all day wore him out?

My wife is nothing like our dog (do I seriously know how to sweet talk my lady or what?).  Julie is forever busy.  I believe she feels guilty if she’s not busy and doing something productive.  The kind of person that is so busy and productive that you feel like you are a sloth in comparison.  I have to remind her that it’s okay for her to sit on the couch and do nothing.  That she has permission to relax.

Our schedules and lives can be consuming.  I mean, have you ever thought about your week ahead of you and started freaking out?  Kid’s activities, family obligations, work, church stuff, things that need to get done around the house, shopping, etc.  How many of you just had a minor panic attack at that list?

It can be overwhelming.  I get it.  Yet, the things that can help the most – sleeping, relaxing, playing – are the things we generally don’t have time for.

I can’t say I have a clear cut answer how to get there, because I’m in the same boat.

Maybe we can be more like kids.  Heck, maybe someday I’ll even compare you to my dog.

 

Be Grateful

My church is doing something called “The Strong Journey”.  A number of churches across the country are also doing it now, too.  It’s a six-week series intended to strengthen your faith.  You may have guessed that from the “strong” part of “Strong Journey.”

In addition to the Sunday services and small group “Home Team” meetings during the week, you are given a set of challenges each week to do and then journal about them.  Today’s challenge – “Be Grateful”.  I was instructed to do the following:

“Make a list in your journal of at least ten things for which you are grateful.  Whether it’s a vintage motorcycle or your mom’s hugs, write a one-line thank-you note to God for each of these sweet blessings.”

Here’s what I wrote in my journal today …

1) Julie – I’m so grateful for my beautiful wife, who is my best friend.  You love and support me unconditionally.

2) Evan – Thank you for Evan and his passion for life.  And while we share many of the same interests, let me learn and be inspired by our differences.

3) Olivia – You are the apple of my eye.  Your smile and laugh light up my life.  I see so much of me in you and want nothing but the best for you.

4) My parents/family – I’m thankful for growing up in a home with so much love and joy.  I’m thankful for the continued support of my dreams.

5) My church – I’m thankful for finding a church I feel that I share the same DNA with.  That is filled with biblical truth and compassion.  That is inviting to everyone to “come as you are.”

6) My job – For God’s provision and the ability to work at a job that I love and with people who I love and respect.  And humbled by the opportunities God gives me each day.

7) My home – Blessed to have shelter and a lovely home to share with others.

8) Friends – People who bring me joy and who have been there for me on my hardest days.

9) Sports – For being such a fun diversion for me and something that I can share with friends and family.

10) Laughter/Silliness – I’m thankful for mindless, silly humor.

 

I’m sure others have done lists similar to this, but this is the first time I can recall truly writing these things down.  At first it sounded a bit like homework, but I was surprised at how easy it was for me to come up with these things.  That’s probably a good sign.

So what are you grateful for?  Whether it’s simple or big things, I encourage you to take a moment this week to jot down ten things you are grateful for. Often times its so easy to lean towards the negative, but this “homework” will give you an opportunity to reflect on how much you have to be thankful and grateful for … and I’m going to bet it’s more than just ten things, too.

Try To Keep Up

Stop me if you’ve heard this before … today I started at a new radio station.  I pretty much wrote the same thing almost a month ago. Today, like on August 29th, I actually started at a radio station (Air 1) that I used to work for – so it’s not really a “new” station.  But it’s new this month, anyway.

This wasn’t the plan, by the way.  When I left K-LOVE on July 29th I had no idea if I was going to work in radio again.  In fact, many people assumed I wouldn’t just based on how I was talking at the time.  I didn’t have anything against radio – in reality, it’s the only profession I’ve had since college – it’s just that I was at a point in my life that if I didn’t do it anymore, I’d be okay with it.  Call it being at peace.  Call it being more open to what God may have in store for me besides radio.

A little over a month ago I wrote about the 180/360 degree scenario that brought me back to Shine.fm.  I didn’t expect that opportunity, but was extremely thankful for it.  I actually was doing that part-time (which was something I suggested to them … for a number of reasons).  Even though it was part-time, I wasn’t actively seeking anything else. I would not have guessed that I’d be leaving so soon.

Through a series of events – I’d need charts and graphs to adequately explain – I ended being offered the morning show co-host role at Air 1.  Air 1 is the sister network of K-LOVE.  It’s morning show studios are down the hall from K-LOVE.  Surreal.  This was seven weeks after leaving K-LOVE.

I wish I could take credit for it.  That I had some big master plan, but I’m not nearly that smart and even if I was, I don’t think my brain could have ever constructed such a plan.  I wish I could say it’s because I have such dynamic faith, but I’m a work in progress in that area.

The last couple of weeks I’ve asked myself a number of times, “What the heck just happened?”  I’m not sure.  Trying to figure “why” things have happen in life and when they happen can be a fun or heartbreaking exercise depending on the situation.  I mean, I’ve definitely have seen some purpose in my two month exodus. I started this blog and rediscovered my passion for writing.  I made a football field in backyard.  I renewed a relationship with my old Shine.fm friends, which was very healing and rewarding.  Got to sleep later.  Rode on Space Mountain. Almost got trapped in the trunk of my car.  Lots of valuable stuff.

Oddly enough, a blog post from a new co-worker of mine, Brant Hansen, really has got stuck in my head the last week or so.   This idea of us seeking resolution in our lives, when that’s not realistic.  I know that because over the last few months, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve begun a conversation with, “Well, you’re not going to believe what happened today …”  And some days you can’t wait for tomorrow and other days you hope never end.

Our story never ends.  It’s really tempting for me to take a deep breath and say, “whew, so that’s why all that happened!”  Like this is the destination.  I’m not saying I want to jump from thing to thing – I like my gig doing the morning show with Mandy and hope I can do it for a long, long time.  I’m just more aware that God is continually working.  So what got me here today, could have  a completely different look and feel tomorrow … next month … next year, etc, etc.

I’m thankful and grateful for where I am today … which is Air 1.  Tomorrow, well, ya never know.  I once worked for Sears selling Halloween costumes and it is October … so don’t be surprised if they come a calling.

That’s Just Like God …

There’s that saying, “Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.”  Not to be confused with the saying, “Be careful what you blog about, because you might actually have to believe and live by what you wrote.”  Okay, so it’s not a common saying and probably won’t make its way onto a bumper sticker or t-shirt – but it applied to me.

The other night I wrote about how difficult it is for me (and most of us) to ask for help.  So naturally, yesterday I was faced with a situation in which I had to ask for help.  I’m working with Shine.fm on their pledge drive this week and got sick.  If you have ever had to do a pledge drive you could see how someone could get sick, but I don’t think the two things are related.

At first, I thought I was just tired.  I remember in the morning telling someone I felt light-headed.  As the morning went on, I felt worse.  Me being me, I didn’t say anything to anyone. I hate asking for help and I never want to feel like I’m letting someone down.  I couldn’t bail on pledge drive, so I began to stick it out.  I was beginning to feel nauseous and I couldn’t concentrate.  I’m sure I wasn’t very coherent on the air and I know I stumbled around.

Someone told me later that when they talked to me on the phone, I sounded disoriented and out of it.  I’m sure I said a lot of things that didn’t make sense.  In fact, I want to apologize to the puppy I proposed to.  I didn’t mean it.  I’m already married.  And I’m going to need the ring back.

I had a two-hour break, so I went to go take a nap.  That didn’t help – unless you count throwing up three times.  About 15 minutes before I was supposed to go back on the air, I called the station from the car to check in.  I was hoping I might not be needed, but didn’t want to tell them I was sick.  They sensed something was wrong.  And then my blog from the night before ran through my brain – tell them you can’t see straight, much less talk straight.  So I did.  They then yelled at me and said I was weak and letting them down.  Of course not – they told me to go rest and to not worry about it.

That was a hard thing for me to do.  But trying to go on the radio and raise money when I can barely function is probably harder.  Although, driving back to my hotel trying not to hurl was pretty hard, too.  Asking for help, paled in comparison to the humbling experience of throwing up in the parking lot of my hotel.

So after some rest, a friend texted me saying if I needed them to bring me anything like 7-Up and crackers.  I said no, not wanting to inconvenience them.  A little while later, I thought, “that actually sounds helpful.”  So when someone else texted me asking the same thing later, I swallowed my pride (one of the few things I was able to keep down) and said yes.

Darn blog!  It’s just like God to do that.  My own words challenged and convicted me.  You have to be careful with that.  It’s like the people who pray, “God I’ll go anywhere – just don’t send me to Africa”, usually end up in Africa.  They are usually thankful for it in the long run, too.

So there you have it.  Another growth experience for me … Excuse me while I run off to go make my “Be careful what you blog about, because you might actually have to believe and live by what you wrote” merchandise … and to go apologize to the people at the Hampton Inn for puking in their parking lot.

 

The Happiest Place on Earth

Observations from the radio conference I’m attending at Walt Disney World …

1) First of all, the busyness of this conference broke my blogging Monday – Friday streak.  Yes, I know, it’s been a huge national story.  I hope you’ve been coping …

2) I think you could pretty much hold any kind of conference at Disney World and people would go.  Give anyone an excuse to come here – especially for “work” – and they’ll figure out a way to be here.  I may come back for a quilting conference next week.

3) One prevailing thought I’m getting through the conference is that this “Facebook” thing seems to be pretty popular.  If there was a drinking game here (not that I’m advocating that) where you drank every time a speaker mentioned Facebook, we would all be blitzed out of our mind.

4) When emceeing or prior to introducing someone, your onstage patter must start with “How’s everybody doing?” or “You guys having a good time this week/today?” or a variation of the two.

5) Radio-industry crowds are the toughest, most jaded crowds EVER (I include myself in this)!  ’Cuz unlike normal concert crowds, we at best give a half-hearted “woohoo” to the poor folks mentioned in #4.  If I was a record company, I would warn my artists that it’s futile for you to expect the crowd to sing-a-long, dance, clap or stop eating their waffles while you perform.  It’s just the way it is …

6) This very well could be the happiest place on Earth.  It’s very difficult to enter Disney World and be upset.  I bought a hamburger for like $9 bucks tonight and I was downright giddy!

7) The place I bought the hamburger was a western-themed restaurant that advertised “the best grub in the west“.  The “West”?  We’re in Orlando … I guess it’s much better than that crappy grub they are serving in Cocoa Beach.

8) Space Mountain will always be one of the coolest roller coasters ever!  I did overhear someone say that in recent years they made it faster (which I believe) and darker.  It’s always been in the dark, though, right?  Leave it to Disney to somehow make pitch black even darker!

9) I think they’ve updated the cars for Space Mountain, too.  Years ago, didn’t they used to have those kind of cars where two people crammed into the car and the person in front basically sat between the legs of the person behind them.  Always made for those nice awkward moments for two dudes.

10) I wondered if the last part of “It’s a Small World” where everyone is wearing white, singing “It’s a Small World” and having fun is supposed to represent heaven?  Then our boat got stuck for a few minutes and someone pointed out that this could quite possibly represent hell.  So maybe it is possible to be unhappy at Disney?

I Don’t Know Everything

This may come as a shock to you, but I don’t know everything.  I used to say to my wife, “Well, if I had all the answers … well, then I’d have all the answers.”  Profound, I know.  Feel free to tweet that (seriously, I feel like half the tweets I see are people quoting really smart people).

I had an earlier blog site that I actually titled “But What Do I Know”.  Renaming it using my name pretty much says the same thing.

There was a time when I thought I knew more than I really did.  It’s called being younger.  I’m sure ten years from now, I’ll realize how dumb I am now.  I’ll re-read this blog and think, “Wow, you said a lot of dumb stuff.  You thought you knew a lot, but you really didn’t.”  Then I’ll take off in my flying car …

I was thinking about this concept as I’m readying myself to go to a radio conference in Orlando tomorrow.  I know – California last week and now Florida this week.  Future me would say it would have been a whole lot better had I gone to these places in say, February.  Anyway, I can remember early on in my radio career when I really thought I knew everything.  I was convinced that I could walk out college and into a morning drive show in Chicago, because I was so smart and talented.

I did become program director of a small Christian radio network in Virginia at the age of 26.  Probably more of a reflection of how small of salary I commanded, than my abilities.  But for me, I was on my way.  When I was first hired there, I was the youngest person on staff, yet I was the PD.  Yep, I thought I was pretty smart.

Going to these Christian radio conventions, I always thought of the crowds in terms of the “haves and the have-nots”.  Those who “got it” and those that didn’t.  After all, there is a lot of bad (but well-meaning) Christian radio out there.  Even smarter, future me  would agree with that.  I definitely thought of myself as one of the people who “got it”.  And to some extent, I’m sure I did “get it” in my young, inexperienced ways.  But I hadn’t arrived like I thought I did.  Far from it.

I’m pretty sure I said and did lots of dumb stuff.

Then at one point my radio career, I was no longer an on-air personality or program director.  I worked in promotions and later management.  It was during this time that I was able to reflect on those early years of radio and realize – I didn’t know as much as I thought I knew.  It was perspective.  I was older.  I was like future me, but future me for the younger me back then.  Not to be confused with present me and the future, future me.  I’m proving my point about my lack of knowledge …

But that realization of not knowing as much as I think I know (or thought I knew) was both humbling and liberating at the same time.  There’s something fabulous about not knowing all the answers.  It’s even more fabulous not feeling like you have to pretend to know all the answers.

So when I moved back into programming and being on-air at K-LOVE and Air 1 (my friend and current PD of Air 1, Paul Goldsmith, pointed out to me how I generally neglect to mention my work at Air 1 in my blogs.  I explained it was out of simplicity that I just refer to K-LOVE since that’s where I just worked.  So Air 1, Air 1, Air 1.  By the way, Paul truly is smarter than everyone in the room and is 10 years younger than me).  Where was I?  Anyway, I changed my approach and wanted to move into those roles as being more “teachable”.  I was surrounded by all sort of smart and talented people.  Instead of pretending to know it all, why not be a sponge?

Imagine not having the pressure to be the smartest guy in the room?  Imagine hiring people who have skills and strengths that you don’t have and not being threatened by that?  Imagine being okay with not knowing everything and letting others know that?  That’s pretty freeing.  At least that seems smart to me, but what do I know.

A 180/360-Degree Turn in My Life

Ever hear someone describe a change in their life by saying, “In the last year, my life has done a 360″?  Like a 360-degree turn. What they usually mean to say is that their life has done “a 180.”  I ain’t so good in math (or grammar), but a 360-degree turn gets you right back where you started.  It’s a circle.  180-degree turn would symbolize more of a change or reversal in your life.

You can put away your protractors for now.  Now on to English …

You see, I’m always fascinated at looking at a life and seeing progress.  How a person went from one place to another.  Seeing how maybe at one point there was confusion or hurt or frustration and then see how their life changed over time.  How God ordered their steps over the course of a month, a year or a lifetime.  I do that with my own life a lot.

This past Saturday would have marked my 10-year anniversary with K-LOVE.  I left on July 29th, so just about month shy of 10 years exactly.  It was 10 amazing years that I will forever be grateful and thankful for.  When I look back 10 years, it’s interesting to see where I was when I first started with K-LOVE.  But looking back a bit farther to where I was before I joined K-LOVE is even more interesting.

I guess you could say I went through somewhat of a painful break-up with my previous employer.  In the big picture of life, it wasn’t horrible.  There are people who have and will deal with much, much more difficult situations than I went through.  I have that perspective now, but at the time it was hard.

Before K-LOVE, I worked for WONU (“Shine.FM) – the radio station owned by Olivet Nazarene University.  ONU is where I went to school years prior to that.  It’s where I got my degree.  It’s where I met some of my closest friends.  It’s where I met my wife.  In short, it was a significant part of my life.  So departing there 10 years ago was hard.  And frankly, it was a wound that took time to heal.

When God closes one door, he opens another.  I was able to begin a new journey with K-LOVE that took me and my family to California and where God was able to exceed my wildest dreams with the opportunities I was provided working there.  I started out in lower management (not even mid-management) and ended up working on the K-LOVE morning show.  As Christian music radio stages go, there is nothing bigger.  I guess you could say my life did an amazing 180-degree turn during that time.

The K-LOVE morning show took me to Indianapolis (much easier to do a national morning show from the Eastern time zone, than in California – 6am Eastern, beats 3am Pacific).  And then after 2 years, the show came to a close.  But then a new door opened.  Or was it an old door?

In the weeks prior to me leaving K-LOVE, an old friend of mine at WONU/Shine.FM called me to say they were branching out into a new market – Indianapolis.  The rest, as they say, is history.

Today, one month to the day of my last K-LOVE Morning Show (and almost 10 years to my exact start date at K-LOVE), I went back on the air at Shine.FM.  God’s ways and timing, our definitely not our ways.

It was the healing of a wound.  It was a change, but it was also a return to back where I started.

It was like my life did 180-degree, 360-degree turn.  And yes, that’s what I meant to say.

The Power of an “Atta Boy!”

I was once “the boss”.  Not “The Boss”, like Bruce Springsteen, but at different times in my life I actually managed people.  Which is weird, because I never pictured myself being a boss-type person.  For one, I’ve never been accused of being bossy.  If anything, I was anti-bossy.  Someone could be stepping on my hand with a metal cleat and I would be like, “Hey, I don’t mean to bother you, but if it’s not too much trouble could you remove your metal cleat from my hand … when you get a chance … no biggie if you can’t … I can learn to write with my left hand.”

Working for “the man” is what I always figured I’d do – not being “the man”.  Yet, somehow at different times in my life and jobs, I found myself being the boss.  I don’t know how it is for others, but I know there was a big learning curve for me.

One of those things I learned early on was what some positive affirmation and encouragement could do for someone.  I was managing a group of people out in the field when I decided to call one my employees just to check in, say hi and offer some encouragement.  She was blown away.  It was like I had given her a big raise.  In fact, in later conversations she told me how getting encouragement was just as important, if not more important than getting a raise.

I’m sure somewhere, someone has done a study that says employees hearing praise is just as important as getting a raise.  If not, copy and paste that area in bold and give it to your boss saying you read it on the Internet, so it’s true.

That employee of mine taught me of the value of hearing “Atta girl!” from your boss.  Use “Atta Boy” if it’s a dude, naturally.  And if you have an employee named Pat or Chris and you’ve never met them face to face and they speak in ambiguous ways, it’s better to be safe and just say “Way to go”.  Last thing you want to do is insult them, when you are trying to build them up.  That’s a bonus tip for bosses – you’re welcome.

Bosses get busy.  They get focused.  They have to put out fires.  And sometimes it’s easier (‘cuz I know), to take the approach with your employees that “no news, is good news”.  Meaning, if you’re not hearing from me, you are doing a good job.  But what’s missing is the power of an “Atta Boy”!

I was reminded of this today when I was talking to a friend who is a “boss”.  He was telling me about how he was making it a point to show love and value to some employees who at times have felt under-appreciated and undervalued. We talked about how at times it’s easier to point out the things people need to fix, rather than how they are rockin’ at their job.  Or we worry if we tell them they are doing a great job, they’ll get cocky and/or complacent.  But we do more damage than good with that approach.

When you think about it, the power of “Atta boy” goes beyond bosses and employees.  This past weekend, my son had an amazing baseball game.  Like, off-the-charts great.  He was so excited and proud.  Yet, one of my first instincts was to remind him not to get too cocky and point out an area he needs to improve in.  Ugh!  I’m still learning.

So today, make it a point to give someone an “Atta boy” or “Atta girl”.  I mean, if you want to … and it’s not too much trouble … I don’t want to come across as bossy.

Thinking the Best

I can remember years ago when David Letterman was obsessing about wanting to have Oprah on his show.  It was a running joke that he wanted her to be on, but she wouldn’t give him the time of day.  That she apparently disliked him.  One day when Oprah’s pal Dr. Phil was on with Dave, Letterman asked him why Oprah wouldn’t come on the show?  Why doesn’t she like me?  Dr. Phil’s answer was classic …

He said something to the effect of “she doesn’t hate you.  You’re just not on her radar.  If you knew how little she thinks about you, you would be offended!”  Meaning, you are obsessing over her, but she’s not even thinking about you – much less sitting around thinking about how much she dislikes you.

But that’s how we can all be at times.  We sometimes default to thinking “the worst”, rather than the best when it comes to people we encounter.  I’ve been there.

I can remember managing a group of people who all worked in independent offices all over the country.  They were separated from me and the mothership, if you will.  I remember an all-staff memo that came out saying that even salaried employees had to keep a time card – logging in and logging out when they work.  Many on the team automatically assumed it was directed at them.  ”Don’t they trust us?”  ”It feels like ‘Big Brother’”.  When in actuality, the new policy had zero to do with them. I wanted to break out Dr. Phil’s line on them.

A friend of mine recently dealt with something similar.  It seemed like everything he did, his boss questioned his motives.  Whether it was calling in sick or a comment he made on Facebook.  He read into the seemingly most innocuous things and projected the worst. The feel was – “What are you trying to get away with?” The reality was nothing of the sort.

We’ve all been there, though. How many times have you geared yourself up for a fight or a potential confrontation, because of how you interpreted an email?  You know, when you practice everything you are going to say and all the come backs to everything you assume they’ll say.  You stay up late stewing over the projected slight.  Then you find out, you totally misinterpreted the situation.

I ain’t no Dr. Phil, but I’m guessing this stems from our own insecurities. Our own fears.  Maybe we’re projecting the worst in someone else, because that’s the way we feel – not necessarily how they feel.

And at what cost?  Think about the time you spend worrying about these kinds of things.  And what about the emotional energy we put ourselves through – often times getting worked up over something that many times isn’t something worth getting worked over about!

How would your day be and how would your overall well-being be, if today when presented the opportunity to pass judgement on someone or some situation, you assumed the best, rather than the worst?