When Did This Happen?

I still have a full head of hair, but I’ve noticed a few gray hairs.

I take medication on a daily basis, but I don’t need one of those “days of the week” pill containers.

My body aches from doing work around the house, yet I’m arguably in the best shape I’ve been in 10-15 years.

On the other hand …

I haven’t started driving really slow with my right turn signal on forever.

I haven’t hiked my pants up past my belly button.

I haven’t started complaining about the “music the kids are listening to.”

I haven’t had to ask my children how to operate a computer, DVD player or video game system

On the other hand …

I don’t get the appeal of Jersey Shore or the Kardashians

I’ve never seen any of those Twilight movies

I’ve yet to wear black athletic socks with sandals

I’m not planking

Last year I turned 40.  Today I turned 41.  For whatever reason, I’m more conscious of my age on this birthday.  Maybe because I went from a station where I was of the younger people on staff, to a station where I’m one of the “older” people on the team.

That’s the thing – for the longest time, I always felt like I was always one of the “young people”.  Now it seems like I’m not one of them anymore.  Not that I don’t fit in.  Just somehow I passed over that line, where I’m on the other side of the young/old divide in most situations I’m in.

The other day someone said I looked like I could be 35.  I thanked them.  That’s now a compliment.

When did this happen?

They say (whoever they are) that age is just a number.  I used to think that was just something old people said.  Now, I kind of get that.  Yikes!

First Week Observations

Earlier today I wrapped up my “first” week on the job at Air 1.  My first week back, actually, after leaving the organization a couple of months ago (Air 1 and K-LOVE are both part of EMF Broadcasting and I worked there for 10 years). It was both fun and surreal …

- A creature of habit, I park in the same spot I did for the last 2 years at K-LOVE.

- That first day did feel a little Twilight Zone’ish.  Deja vu all over again as Yogi Berra once said.

- My old office was turned into a production studio.  I was gone two months.  I feel like the kid who goes away to college and his parents can’t wait to remodel his bedroom.  I was half-expecting to find a treadmill and sectional couch in the room.

- The Air 1 studio is about 20-25 feet down the hall from K-LOVE, so I’m getting more exercise now – which is a bonus.

- The Air 1 studio is smaller and doesn’t have as nice of a view.  Yes, I’ve already called Human Resources.  How am I supposed to work under these conditions!?

- I’ve *almost* said “Lisa & Eric” a couple of times.  Almost.  Just a couple of awkward pauses.  And I have said “Mandy & Eric” instead of “Eric & Mandy”, just because I was used to putting my name second.

- I’ve almost said “K-LOVE” and “Shine.fm”.  Again, almost.

- Right now, you might be saying, “Your job doesn’t seem that hard if that’s what you have to worry about.”

- You are right.

- Nevertheless, on my second day I actually put a piece of paper in front of my face that says “Air 1″ and “Eric and Mandy”.

- I think Mandy may have said “Sean & Mandy” a couple of times.

- Sadly, I think I may have said “Sean & Mandy”.  Yes, I have forgotten my own name.

- Now you may be thinking, “For crying out loud – you are still talking about how you say your names on the radio!”

- One more … So far nobody has said, “Sean & Lisa” … or “Siegfried & Roy” … or “Starsky and Hutch” …or “Peaches & Herb”.

- Mandy is funnier and more talented than I thought and I thought she was funny and talented to begin with.  She also watches the TV show “Matlock”.

- I thought only people over the age of 70 watch “Matlock”.  Or people in a coma. Or people over the age of 70 in a coma.  I’m pretty sure that’s the demographic.

- Dan is the man when it comes to news.  Such a pro.  He also doesn’t bathe when the Texas Rangers are in the playoffs.  They are in the playoffs.  If they make the World Series, I’m angling to see if we can turn a fire hose on him if they win it all.

- I’m pretty darn happy.  And grateful.

-Looking forward to week number two of the …. (awkward pause) “Eric & Mandy Morning Show on … Telemundo”

… and I was so close to nailing it.

Try To Keep Up

Stop me if you’ve heard this before … today I started at a new radio station.  I pretty much wrote the same thing almost a month ago. Today, like on August 29th, I actually started at a radio station (Air 1) that I used to work for – so it’s not really a “new” station.  But it’s new this month, anyway.

This wasn’t the plan, by the way.  When I left K-LOVE on July 29th I had no idea if I was going to work in radio again.  In fact, many people assumed I wouldn’t just based on how I was talking at the time.  I didn’t have anything against radio – in reality, it’s the only profession I’ve had since college – it’s just that I was at a point in my life that if I didn’t do it anymore, I’d be okay with it.  Call it being at peace.  Call it being more open to what God may have in store for me besides radio.

A little over a month ago I wrote about the 180/360 degree scenario that brought me back to Shine.fm.  I didn’t expect that opportunity, but was extremely thankful for it.  I actually was doing that part-time (which was something I suggested to them … for a number of reasons).  Even though it was part-time, I wasn’t actively seeking anything else. I would not have guessed that I’d be leaving so soon.

Through a series of events – I’d need charts and graphs to adequately explain – I ended being offered the morning show co-host role at Air 1.  Air 1 is the sister network of K-LOVE.  It’s morning show studios are down the hall from K-LOVE.  Surreal.  This was seven weeks after leaving K-LOVE.

I wish I could take credit for it.  That I had some big master plan, but I’m not nearly that smart and even if I was, I don’t think my brain could have ever constructed such a plan.  I wish I could say it’s because I have such dynamic faith, but I’m a work in progress in that area.

The last couple of weeks I’ve asked myself a number of times, “What the heck just happened?”  I’m not sure.  Trying to figure “why” things have happen in life and when they happen can be a fun or heartbreaking exercise depending on the situation.  I mean, I’ve definitely have seen some purpose in my two month exodus. I started this blog and rediscovered my passion for writing.  I made a football field in backyard.  I renewed a relationship with my old Shine.fm friends, which was very healing and rewarding.  Got to sleep later.  Rode on Space Mountain. Almost got trapped in the trunk of my car.  Lots of valuable stuff.

Oddly enough, a blog post from a new co-worker of mine, Brant Hansen, really has got stuck in my head the last week or so.   This idea of us seeking resolution in our lives, when that’s not realistic.  I know that because over the last few months, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve begun a conversation with, “Well, you’re not going to believe what happened today …”  And some days you can’t wait for tomorrow and other days you hope never end.

Our story never ends.  It’s really tempting for me to take a deep breath and say, “whew, so that’s why all that happened!”  Like this is the destination.  I’m not saying I want to jump from thing to thing – I like my gig doing the morning show with Mandy and hope I can do it for a long, long time.  I’m just more aware that God is continually working.  So what got me here today, could have  a completely different look and feel tomorrow … next month … next year, etc, etc.

I’m thankful and grateful for where I am today … which is Air 1.  Tomorrow, well, ya never know.  I once worked for Sears selling Halloween costumes and it is October … so don’t be surprised if they come a calling.

I Don’t Know Everything

This may come as a shock to you, but I don’t know everything.  I used to say to my wife, “Well, if I had all the answers … well, then I’d have all the answers.”  Profound, I know.  Feel free to tweet that (seriously, I feel like half the tweets I see are people quoting really smart people).

I had an earlier blog site that I actually titled “But What Do I Know”.  Renaming it using my name pretty much says the same thing.

There was a time when I thought I knew more than I really did.  It’s called being younger.  I’m sure ten years from now, I’ll realize how dumb I am now.  I’ll re-read this blog and think, “Wow, you said a lot of dumb stuff.  You thought you knew a lot, but you really didn’t.”  Then I’ll take off in my flying car …

I was thinking about this concept as I’m readying myself to go to a radio conference in Orlando tomorrow.  I know – California last week and now Florida this week.  Future me would say it would have been a whole lot better had I gone to these places in say, February.  Anyway, I can remember early on in my radio career when I really thought I knew everything.  I was convinced that I could walk out college and into a morning drive show in Chicago, because I was so smart and talented.

I did become program director of a small Christian radio network in Virginia at the age of 26.  Probably more of a reflection of how small of salary I commanded, than my abilities.  But for me, I was on my way.  When I was first hired there, I was the youngest person on staff, yet I was the PD.  Yep, I thought I was pretty smart.

Going to these Christian radio conventions, I always thought of the crowds in terms of the “haves and the have-nots”.  Those who “got it” and those that didn’t.  After all, there is a lot of bad (but well-meaning) Christian radio out there.  Even smarter, future me  would agree with that.  I definitely thought of myself as one of the people who “got it”.  And to some extent, I’m sure I did “get it” in my young, inexperienced ways.  But I hadn’t arrived like I thought I did.  Far from it.

I’m pretty sure I said and did lots of dumb stuff.

Then at one point my radio career, I was no longer an on-air personality or program director.  I worked in promotions and later management.  It was during this time that I was able to reflect on those early years of radio and realize – I didn’t know as much as I thought I knew.  It was perspective.  I was older.  I was like future me, but future me for the younger me back then.  Not to be confused with present me and the future, future me.  I’m proving my point about my lack of knowledge …

But that realization of not knowing as much as I think I know (or thought I knew) was both humbling and liberating at the same time.  There’s something fabulous about not knowing all the answers.  It’s even more fabulous not feeling like you have to pretend to know all the answers.

So when I moved back into programming and being on-air at K-LOVE and Air 1 (my friend and current PD of Air 1, Paul Goldsmith, pointed out to me how I generally neglect to mention my work at Air 1 in my blogs.  I explained it was out of simplicity that I just refer to K-LOVE since that’s where I just worked.  So Air 1, Air 1, Air 1.  By the way, Paul truly is smarter than everyone in the room and is 10 years younger than me).  Where was I?  Anyway, I changed my approach and wanted to move into those roles as being more “teachable”.  I was surrounded by all sort of smart and talented people.  Instead of pretending to know it all, why not be a sponge?

Imagine not having the pressure to be the smartest guy in the room?  Imagine hiring people who have skills and strengths that you don’t have and not being threatened by that?  Imagine being okay with not knowing everything and letting others know that?  That’s pretty freeing.  At least that seems smart to me, but what do I know.