I Killed Santa

Disclaimer – To be safe, if you under the age of 12 please don’t read this.  Or at least, get your parents permission first.  And you really shouldn’t be on the internet without your parents permission anyway.  And don’t do drugs and stay in school.

“I just want you to tell me the truth!”

“Mom – just tell me the truth!”

“I know he’s not real … just tell me.”

These were just a few things my son Evan said to my wife Julie the other night.  More like passionately pleaded to my wife Julie.  She said he almost had tears in his eyes.

Within the Christian community, I know there are some people who are anti-Santa.  After all, you play Scrabble with his name and you get “Satan”.  And most axe-murderers will tell you that their path to destruction all started because they were led to believe in Santa.

As you can probably tell, I’m not in the anti-Santa crowd.  But I do respect those who choose not to include St. Nick in their celebrations.  And my point in this blog is to not debate or sway you one or other, anyway.  My point is that I grew up with Santa, Julie did, too.  We haven’t had a faith crisis as a result of believing in Santa.  We never had trust issues with our parents because they “lied” to us about the fat guy in the red suit and white beard.  Again, that’s an argument someone else can have.

At some point you stop believing.  I honestly can’t remember when or how this happened with me.  I know it was relatively early in my life – maybe 2nd or 3rd grade?  But it obviously was not traumatic, because I have no emotional scars.  I’ve heard stories from other people that learning that Santa and the reindeer don’t actually bring the presents was a very difficult thing.

With both our kids, we always knew that with each year it could be the last year for Santa.  If you’ve done the Santa thing – you know it’s fun.  What’s not to love about lying to your kids and deceiving ‘em?  Am I right or am I right?  (that was sarcasm, by the way).

Evan is 11.  For the last few years we kind of figured he “knew”, but was playing along.  He’s asked questions for a few years now.  Usually, Julie was the lucky one to be on the receiving end of those questions.  To add a a degree of difficulty to the questions, he would ask in front of his younger sister – who couldn’t believe more in Santa if she were an elf!

His interrogation of Julie the other night was the latest inquisition.  In the past, Julie would typically reply to him, “Well, what do you think?”  He typically said he thought he was real or he wasn’t sure, but he rarely pushed it.

The other night was different.  Julie said there was an urgency.  She said it was his direct request to know “the truth” that killed her.  With Olivia present, she said that they could talk about it another time.  But in Julie’s eyes and heart – it was time.

That’s where Dad came in, AKA – “Santa Killer”.  When I got home from work, Julie said, “You have to tell him.  He was drilling me with questions last night in front of Olivia.  When he gets home from school, you should tell him.”

Given that he is 11.  Given that I’m sure the majority of his classmates “don’t believe”.  Given his line of questions, I figured there might be some disappointment, but mostly a shrug of his shoulders, like – “I kind of figured.”

What happened?  Well, it was like I killed Santa.  It hurt and it hurt bad!!!!

“I really didn’t want to know!!”

“So he’s not real?”

“That was my favorite part of Christmas!”

“I’ve ruined Christmas!  I wish I wasn’t so curious!”

For a few hours (yes, hours) there was some mourning.  There was crying.  There was a sense of loss.  And if I could’ve taken it all back, I would have.  It was heartbreaking.

Like a lot of things in life – we know, but we really don’t want to know.  We thought he wanted confirmation that Santa wasn’t real; instead he wanted reassurance that he was.  Because if we told him Santa was real, it was okay for him to still believe and enjoy the magic of Santa.

Because Santa is fun.  There is something fun about the fairytale aspect to it.  It’s fun for kids, but it’s fun for parents too.  And so that’s why we also dreaded the day of no more Santa.  That’s why there was a sense of loss for us, too.  We know it’s just a matter of time before Olivia joins this club, too.

But here’s the cool thing Santa-haters … it did also provide an opportunity.  Julie, the brains of the operation, swooped in when I was at a loss for words and reminded Evan – that Santa and Christmas trees and presents and reindeer are all fun, but Christmas has been and always will be about Jesus.  That will never change.  And we just don’t celebrate Him for a day or for a season.

So the other “stuff” of Christmas is fun.  And yes, it can get out of balance or distract us.  But the reality is we do things everyday that have the potential to get us out of balance or distract us – it doesn’t necessarily make those things bad. Birthday parties, movies, TV shows, people, work … everything … can take our focus off of Christ, but chances are you’ll still do those things.  And that’s okay, unless they do take you some place you shouldn’t be.

As corny as it sounds, we really do need to “celebrate” Jesus everyday of our lives

Side-note for anyone who will ever have the “Santa talk” – having this kind of conversation is kind of like breaking up with someone.  You really should prepare for anything.  Will they take it well and be fine with just being friends?  Or will they go completely psycho on you?  You should be ready for both … just in case.  Um, yeah.  We thought a shrug … it was more like weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Oh … and think timing, too.  I’m guessing this would have been an easier and better conversation if this happened on December 26th … or July 26th … or if someone else told him.  You know, hear it on the streets.  That’s what I’m planning on when it comes to the “birds and bees” conversation.  I’m kidding.  That actually might be an easier conversation, though.

When Did This Happen?

I still have a full head of hair, but I’ve noticed a few gray hairs.

I take medication on a daily basis, but I don’t need one of those “days of the week” pill containers.

My body aches from doing work around the house, yet I’m arguably in the best shape I’ve been in 10-15 years.

On the other hand …

I haven’t started driving really slow with my right turn signal on forever.

I haven’t hiked my pants up past my belly button.

I haven’t started complaining about the “music the kids are listening to.”

I haven’t had to ask my children how to operate a computer, DVD player or video game system

On the other hand …

I don’t get the appeal of Jersey Shore or the Kardashians

I’ve never seen any of those Twilight movies

I’ve yet to wear black athletic socks with sandals

I’m not planking

Last year I turned 40.  Today I turned 41.  For whatever reason, I’m more conscious of my age on this birthday.  Maybe because I went from a station where I was of the younger people on staff, to a station where I’m one of the “older” people on the team.

That’s the thing – for the longest time, I always felt like I was always one of the “young people”.  Now it seems like I’m not one of them anymore.  Not that I don’t fit in.  Just somehow I passed over that line, where I’m on the other side of the young/old divide in most situations I’m in.

The other day someone said I looked like I could be 35.  I thanked them.  That’s now a compliment.

When did this happen?

They say (whoever they are) that age is just a number.  I used to think that was just something old people said.  Now, I kind of get that.  Yikes!

Working It Out

Today on the show we did some working out with pumpkins.  There would have been a time, where the thought of working out with anything would have chased me away.  But that’s been an area of growth for me.

It’s never a good sign when you are nearly passed out on the floor of the local gym.  But that was pretty much the scenario about a year and a half ago.  Our trainer, Zach, went and got me a power bar to “revive” me as I laid on the floor with my arms stretched above my head.  Sadly, this wasn’t the result of an intense workout.  This was the initial fitness evaluation the gym did for new members.

I want to point out that I went into that evaluation not having anything to eat all day long!  Which wasn’t smart, but I really can’t use that as the total reason for my pathetic showing.  I blame it on being deceptively out of shape.  Because I wasn’t overweight, I felt like Zach must have thought I could handle a tough evaluation.  Okay, it was probably a normal evaluation and he thought there was no need to go easy on me.  Nearly dying on the floor, may have changed his mind.

The fact of the matter, was that in nearly 40 years of life that was the first time I worked out at gym.  My form of exercise, save for a period of time when I got into doing sit-ups, consisted of playing basketball with my son and chasing my kids around.  I was out of shape, but didn’t necessarily look like it.

I avoided gyms for the reasons many people do …

It’s hard … it’s expensive … I’m intimidated … I won’t know how to do anything … people will stare at me.

Those were just excuses.

And if those excuses sound familiar, it’s because you’ve probably used some or all of them at some point of your life.  It might not have been the gym.  Maybe it was your relationship with God or going to church.

Sometimes the very thing we need, we avoid. Because we are afraid or intimidated or worry that we won’t know what to do.

The very place I could go to get healthier, was the place I avoided for so long.

As I was laying on the floor feeling like I was going to die or at the very least, die of embarrassment, I remember thinking “there’s no way I want to come back to do this again.”  I didn’t die that day.  In fact, I’ve continued to go to the gym on a consistent basis ever since.

I’m not sure if there’s something place in your life – whether that’s a physical or spiritual place – that you are avoiding.  Just know that you probably won’t die.  You’ll get healthier.  You may even get a free power bar out of the deal.

First Week Observations

Earlier today I wrapped up my “first” week on the job at Air 1.  My first week back, actually, after leaving the organization a couple of months ago (Air 1 and K-LOVE are both part of EMF Broadcasting and I worked there for 10 years). It was both fun and surreal …

- A creature of habit, I park in the same spot I did for the last 2 years at K-LOVE.

- That first day did feel a little Twilight Zone’ish.  Deja vu all over again as Yogi Berra once said.

- My old office was turned into a production studio.  I was gone two months.  I feel like the kid who goes away to college and his parents can’t wait to remodel his bedroom.  I was half-expecting to find a treadmill and sectional couch in the room.

- The Air 1 studio is about 20-25 feet down the hall from K-LOVE, so I’m getting more exercise now – which is a bonus.

- The Air 1 studio is smaller and doesn’t have as nice of a view.  Yes, I’ve already called Human Resources.  How am I supposed to work under these conditions!?

- I’ve *almost* said “Lisa & Eric” a couple of times.  Almost.  Just a couple of awkward pauses.  And I have said “Mandy & Eric” instead of “Eric & Mandy”, just because I was used to putting my name second.

- I’ve almost said “K-LOVE” and “Shine.fm”.  Again, almost.

- Right now, you might be saying, “Your job doesn’t seem that hard if that’s what you have to worry about.”

- You are right.

- Nevertheless, on my second day I actually put a piece of paper in front of my face that says “Air 1″ and “Eric and Mandy”.

- I think Mandy may have said “Sean & Mandy” a couple of times.

- Sadly, I think I may have said “Sean & Mandy”.  Yes, I have forgotten my own name.

- Now you may be thinking, “For crying out loud – you are still talking about how you say your names on the radio!”

- One more … So far nobody has said, “Sean & Lisa” … or “Siegfried & Roy” … or “Starsky and Hutch” …or “Peaches & Herb”.

- Mandy is funnier and more talented than I thought and I thought she was funny and talented to begin with.  She also watches the TV show “Matlock”.

- I thought only people over the age of 70 watch “Matlock”.  Or people in a coma. Or people over the age of 70 in a coma.  I’m pretty sure that’s the demographic.

- Dan is the man when it comes to news.  Such a pro.  He also doesn’t bathe when the Texas Rangers are in the playoffs.  They are in the playoffs.  If they make the World Series, I’m angling to see if we can turn a fire hose on him if they win it all.

- I’m pretty darn happy.  And grateful.

-Looking forward to week number two of the …. (awkward pause) “Eric & Mandy Morning Show on … Telemundo”

… and I was so close to nailing it.

Try To Keep Up

Stop me if you’ve heard this before … today I started at a new radio station.  I pretty much wrote the same thing almost a month ago. Today, like on August 29th, I actually started at a radio station (Air 1) that I used to work for – so it’s not really a “new” station.  But it’s new this month, anyway.

This wasn’t the plan, by the way.  When I left K-LOVE on July 29th I had no idea if I was going to work in radio again.  In fact, many people assumed I wouldn’t just based on how I was talking at the time.  I didn’t have anything against radio – in reality, it’s the only profession I’ve had since college – it’s just that I was at a point in my life that if I didn’t do it anymore, I’d be okay with it.  Call it being at peace.  Call it being more open to what God may have in store for me besides radio.

A little over a month ago I wrote about the 180/360 degree scenario that brought me back to Shine.fm.  I didn’t expect that opportunity, but was extremely thankful for it.  I actually was doing that part-time (which was something I suggested to them … for a number of reasons).  Even though it was part-time, I wasn’t actively seeking anything else. I would not have guessed that I’d be leaving so soon.

Through a series of events – I’d need charts and graphs to adequately explain – I ended being offered the morning show co-host role at Air 1.  Air 1 is the sister network of K-LOVE.  It’s morning show studios are down the hall from K-LOVE.  Surreal.  This was seven weeks after leaving K-LOVE.

I wish I could take credit for it.  That I had some big master plan, but I’m not nearly that smart and even if I was, I don’t think my brain could have ever constructed such a plan.  I wish I could say it’s because I have such dynamic faith, but I’m a work in progress in that area.

The last couple of weeks I’ve asked myself a number of times, “What the heck just happened?”  I’m not sure.  Trying to figure “why” things have happen in life and when they happen can be a fun or heartbreaking exercise depending on the situation.  I mean, I’ve definitely have seen some purpose in my two month exodus. I started this blog and rediscovered my passion for writing.  I made a football field in backyard.  I renewed a relationship with my old Shine.fm friends, which was very healing and rewarding.  Got to sleep later.  Rode on Space Mountain. Almost got trapped in the trunk of my car.  Lots of valuable stuff.

Oddly enough, a blog post from a new co-worker of mine, Brant Hansen, really has got stuck in my head the last week or so.   This idea of us seeking resolution in our lives, when that’s not realistic.  I know that because over the last few months, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve begun a conversation with, “Well, you’re not going to believe what happened today …”  And some days you can’t wait for tomorrow and other days you hope never end.

Our story never ends.  It’s really tempting for me to take a deep breath and say, “whew, so that’s why all that happened!”  Like this is the destination.  I’m not saying I want to jump from thing to thing – I like my gig doing the morning show with Mandy and hope I can do it for a long, long time.  I’m just more aware that God is continually working.  So what got me here today, could have  a completely different look and feel tomorrow … next month … next year, etc, etc.

I’m thankful and grateful for where I am today … which is Air 1.  Tomorrow, well, ya never know.  I once worked for Sears selling Halloween costumes and it is October … so don’t be surprised if they come a calling.

Far From the Worst …

For the third time this month, I’m on the road.  I started the month in California.  I then took a trip to Florida.  This week … Tahiti?  New Zealand? Kankakee?  Yes, Kankakee, Illinois … naturally.

Over the next few days I’ll be “pledge driving” for Shine.fm in Kankakee (well, technically Bourbonnais … but Kankakee is so much more fun to say).

I spent a decent chunk of my life in this area.  I went to school at Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais.  I liked it so much, I spent 6 years there!  About a month into our marriage, Julie and I moved to Kankakee.  It was our first home and we lived there for about 3 years.  It was during that time Kankakee was deemed “the worst city in America”!  Although, I don’t think us living there factored into that?

I’m not sure how that was exactly determined?  I think the economy, crime, schools, etc played into it.  I wasn’t crazy about the town, but I don’t think it was the “worst city in America”?  I mean, I was frustrated that I couldn’t find a decent dry cleaner or place to get my haircut … but the worst … nah!  Did it have relatively high murder rate per capita?  Sure, but let’s not nitpick …

There’s the Kankakee River.  Some good hot dog places. Olivet Nazarene University is a beautiful campus.  And there is a buffet place called “Coyote Canyon”!  C’mon!  Wouldn’t you want to eat a steak from a place with “coyote” in it’s name?

David Letterman, at the time, actually had some fun with Kankakee being named the worst city in America to live.  He did a “Top Ten” list about the city, interviewed the Mayor and gave not one, but two gazebos to the city.  He said Kankakee could promote itself as “home of the world famous twin gazebos”.  I don’t think that slogan ever caught on.

It’s been over 10 years since I lived here.  I drove by my old house and the hospital my son was born in.  I went to the mall where I worked at in college (Camelot Music – selling CD’s … remember stores that sold CD’s?).  In many ways, the area hasn’t changed.  Coyote Canyon is still there (full disclosure – I’ve never ate there).  So is the river and hot dog places.

But in other ways it has changed.  It’s grown with new businesses that have popped up over the years.  New homes and new neighborhoods. The Chicago Bears now hold their summer training camp at Olivet (and the campus looks better than ever).

It has gotten better with age.  It’s bigger and nicer … and so far, I haven’t been murdered.

Evan at Eleven

I’m sitting here looking at my son play with some of his birthday presents.  Evan turned 11 today.

Eleven amazing years that have flown by.  I can remember 11 years and one day ago when Julie first started feeling contractions.  To pass the time until the contractions warranted going to the hospital, we went out to dinner.  Afterwards, we went to the mall – I needed to buy some shoes.  I remember thinking that I needed to buy these shoes tonight, because after having a child I could never justify buying something for myself again.  Sounds extreme, but in some ways it was accurate.

When you get married you have to adjust to life not just being about you.  Having a child takes it to a whole new level.  There’s that overwhelming feeling of having this little life that is completely dependent on you.

I heard someone the other day talking about the need to enjoy life before having kids, because once you do, you won’t be able to do anything for yourself until they graduate college and are on their own.  The implication is that it’s a bad thing.  But the majority of people who have kids, would say the joys outweigh any “inconvenience” of not being able to do what you want, when you want.

Any empty-nester will tell you to enjoy this time, because it does go fast.  There are days when it definitely doesn’t feel that way. But when I see how quickly these 11 years went, I get it.  In another 11 years, he’ll most likely be graduating from college and ready to start his “life”.  But when I even look at the years in between now and then, I realize how little time there is to soak this in.  He’ll be a teenager before you know it … driving and the freedom that comes with that … hanging with friends will become a lot more fun than hanging with mom and dad … and then off to college.

Sheesh!  I’ve managed to depress myself!

As I look at him, my heart just bursts with happiness.  He’s an amazing kid, who truly is one of a kind.  He’s tender-hearted, yet all boy.

He gets his great looks from his mother.  I’m sure his intelligence, too.  And he can talk (another trait he gets from his mom). I can remember one of his first report cards that was great, with the only “negative” being he tends to “socialize” a lot in class.

He gets his love of sports from me.  I love the fact we can watch and play sports together and how he seems to check espn.com every morning when he wakes up.

I love the way he loves his little sister Olivia and how the two of them are like best friends.  They genuinely like to play and laugh together.

I think the thing that I love the most about him is his zest for life.  He never does anything half way.  He soaks in every moment of every thing he does.  And everything he does, becomes an event.  As a toddler, it wasn’t enough for Julie to simply take him on a walk – he had to take snacks and supplies.  There’s no such thing as simple football game with his friends in the neighborhood.  You need to wear a jersey, have team names, keep stats and make brackets for a tournament.

He has taught me a lot. I want to live with that same kind of zest when it comes to being his dad.  To not parent half way.  And to soak in every moment.

When he was born, I remember saying, “Baby Evan, sent from Heaven.”  And it’s true.

Baby Evan, sent from Heaven is now eleven.  Happy Birthday Evan!  I’m proud to be your dad.

You are an amazing boy, that has made me a better man.

My Evening With Katy Perry

I recently wrote about sentences coming out of your mouth that you thought you would never say.  For instance, I told my son he couldn’t mow the lawn by himself because “you might cut off your feet!”  Well here’s another thing I thought I would never say – I saw Katy Perry in concert last night.

If you are scoring at home, I went to a Taylor Swift concert about a month ago.  If you hear me talking about going to a Lady Gaga concert, you know I’ve officially crossed over into some bizarro world.  Or it could be a sign that the world is coming to an end soon.

Full disclosure – I went to both concerts for free.  One of my favorite bands, Needtobreathe, opened for Taylor Swift and some generous friends got me tickets.  Katy Perry … well, that’s different.  Different in every sense of the word.  A good friend of mine was in town for a big conference and part of the entertainment for the conference – 3,000 people – were tickets to the Katy Perry show.  I figured out quickly that this was a much different conference than the Christian radio conference I went to last week.

So it was almost on a lark that we went to this show.  I just used the phrase “on a lark”??  What’s the deal … anyway.  The whole thing intrigued me, because Katy Perry is an intriguing person.  If you don’t know, she was raised in a Christian home with her father being a pastor.  She released a Christian music album in 2001 under her real name Katy Hudson (her mom’s maiden name is Perry – she changed to Perry to avoid confusion with actress Kate Hudson).

She is undeniably talented.  Lyrics aside, she sings catchy, carefully craft pop songs.  And like a Madonna or Lady Gaga, she has been boosted by party pop songs with a sexually suggestive bent.  Although, “suggestive” might be to light of a word.  Blatantly sexual is probably more like it.

My friend and I are both music fans, so seeing an artist perform, the sound, the stage set-up, the band, etc.,  are all things that we check out us regardless of who is playing.  At one point, I leaned over and said to my friend, “This ain’t no MercyMe show.”  Unless MercyMe has adopted a set that looks like Candy Land, “suggestive” dancers, video interludes featuring some freaky Alice in Wonderland scenario, large pieces of meat dangling from the ceiling (I have no idea?) and mimes. Yes, mimes.

In the 45 minutes of the concert we watched, we both just sat there.  We both just observed and took it all in.  We didn’t stand up. We didn’t sing.  We didn’t clap.  We just watched.  We watched Katy and her  bazillion costume changes.  We watched the crowd – the surprising amount of guys at the show.  The surprising number of women wearing blue wigs (I hadn’t seen that many blue wigs since I visited a senior citizen home!  Hey now!  I’ll be here all week!).  The surprising amount of parents who took their kids.

It was different.  It gets my mind spinning.

Her music and image are so contradictory to the truth that she must have been exposed to growing up.  It sadly fascinates me.  Was she spiritually scarred growing up?  Did she have some sort of negative experience in the church?  You hear these kinds of things and you speculate.  If you are a parent, you think of these things.  I mean her Dad is a pastor, after all.

I have no idea what her life was like growing up.  In some ways, I’m not sure how much it matters.  To the extent, that we often think one environment or another is the sole reason why a person took the path they took (not discounting it either).

My point is, it’s easy to judge her and her family. It’s easy to speculate “what went wrong”.  I get that.  My mind wonders how did she go from “here to there”.  And then I realize that’s easy, too.  We think it’s hard or hard to fathom, that a girl who once sang about Jesus could now be singing about, well, lots of un-Jesus-like stuff.

How many times do you connect with an old friend on Facebook, only to see that they no longer seem to be the person they used to be?  I don’t know how many times I’ve looked in the mirror and thought I’m no longer the person I used to be.  Or I’m not the person people think I am.  Or “how did I get to this point?”

And with that said, I’m thankful for grace, forgiveness and the opportunity to change.  I’m thankful I know the Truth that makes that possible.  Not because I’m special or deserve it, either.

And the cool thing is, those same opportunities for grace, forgiveness and change are available to you – regardless of what you’ve done or what you sing about.  Those same opportunities exist for Katy Perry, too.  Because I have to believe she also knows the Truth that makes that possible.

 

My California Trip … By the Numbers

It’s almost 11pm here in the Pacific time zone – still technically Friday – although, for my body it feels like 2am.  Actually, after all the stuff I did today, my body feels like 3am … in the year 2051 when I’m 80-years-old.  Point is, I’m still getting my “Friday” blog in on Friday.

Here’s how my trip went to my old home in California …

1 – suitcase … filled with clothes, toiletries, screwdriver and microphone

1 – roll of duct tape I bought to fix multiple things

2 – pairs of earphones for my iPod.  Yes, I found my original pair tonight after I spent $34 on a pair at the airport

2 – trips to In-n-Out Burger

2 – bottles of ice-tea I bought at the gas station/convenience store on the corner near my house.  We always used to laugh at the random things they would sell there.  ”Honey, I’m going up to Tower Market to buy some burritos and sweat pants.”  As I walking through today, I noticed I could also pick up a leopard print Snuggy or Ladie’s Capri pants.

3 – visits with friends I managed to squeeze in between working on the house

4 – amount of rooms I did some sort of painting in (including painting the inside of a closet … not a walk-in closet, just a regular closet.  My property manager said I needed to.  Who notices if a closet is painted?)

5 – number of times I muttered unmentionable things while I was painting the inside of a closet.

6 – bags of mulch for my backyard

6 – AM.  That’s when my flight leaves tomorrow morning … or roughly 7 hours from now.

7 – The amount of trips I took to Home Depot in the last 2 days.  I think I should get an honorary orange apron.

8 – sprinkler heads changed.  I actually was able to fix them!  If I only knew how easy it was to fix them when I actually lived in this home?!?

50 – the age of Marge, who works in the garden center of Home Depot.  I know this because she told me twice yesterday that it was her 50th birthday.  She also told me again today.  As much as I went there, we are now probably close enough for me buy her gift.  Perhaps some capri pants?

1495 – the amount of dollars I felt like I spent at Home Depot.  It’s actually my house number for my address.  A home I’m not sure when I’ll see again.

I hope our next renters enjoy the home as much as we did.  I especially hope they like the freshly painted closet.

There Goes The Neighborhood

They say “you can’t go home again.”  I’m not sure who “they” is and why they think that …

But here I am – in one of my old homes.  It’s the home I still own in California and lived in for almost seven years.  My kids spent the majority of their lives in this home.  It’s a small home, but it’s big on many memories for me and my family.  And because of the wonderful California housing market, I’ll probably own it for a while.

I’m here because the tenant renting it moved out and new tenants are getting ready to move in next week.  Being the handy person that I am, I thought I would come out here to make any needed to repairs. Or just pray there isn’t anything to complex to fix – like changing a light bulb.

TSA left one of those flyers in my luggage saying they inspected it – maybe it was the combo of a cordless screwdriver and microphone (so I could still do my radio show)?  So if introducing a song can also magically fix my in-ground sprinklers, I’m good to go!

Thankfully, my house is in pretty good shape and there’s not much I can screw up. My neighborhood, on the other hand … seems a bit screwed up.

I ran into my next door neighbor this morning and got the lowdown on what’s going on in my old hood.  I heard who moved and who is getting divorced.  I heard about explosions and car chases (I’m not kidding – there have been explosions and car chases)!  An hour later I felt like I just experienced a combination of NYPD Blue and Desperate Housewives.  But instead of feeling entertained, I felt more sad.

Neighbors that we were friends with, were gone.  Another couple, the husband just moved out last weekend.  Others, had brushes with the law (I know I’m really selling my neighborhood to future tenants).  As I drove around, I saw more changes – new businesses opened., others that close down (no more Applebees … oh, the humanity!!).  Changes at our old church.

It’s been less than two years since we moved away, but it’s like a lifetime of changes have taken place in that time.  Reflecting back, I choose to focus on the fun, amazing, wonderful memories we had in this home.  And yet, things have changed and are different … the neighborhood has changed.  Relationships have changed.  And new people will be living here.  Plus, there’s that whole Applebees thing.

I kind of get that whole “you can’t go home again” thing.  At least, not this home.