Working It Out

Today on the show we did some working out with pumpkins.  There would have been a time, where the thought of working out with anything would have chased me away.  But that’s been an area of growth for me.

It’s never a good sign when you are nearly passed out on the floor of the local gym.  But that was pretty much the scenario about a year and a half ago.  Our trainer, Zach, went and got me a power bar to “revive” me as I laid on the floor with my arms stretched above my head.  Sadly, this wasn’t the result of an intense workout.  This was the initial fitness evaluation the gym did for new members.

I want to point out that I went into that evaluation not having anything to eat all day long!  Which wasn’t smart, but I really can’t use that as the total reason for my pathetic showing.  I blame it on being deceptively out of shape.  Because I wasn’t overweight, I felt like Zach must have thought I could handle a tough evaluation.  Okay, it was probably a normal evaluation and he thought there was no need to go easy on me.  Nearly dying on the floor, may have changed his mind.

The fact of the matter, was that in nearly 40 years of life that was the first time I worked out at gym.  My form of exercise, save for a period of time when I got into doing sit-ups, consisted of playing basketball with my son and chasing my kids around.  I was out of shape, but didn’t necessarily look like it.

I avoided gyms for the reasons many people do …

It’s hard … it’s expensive … I’m intimidated … I won’t know how to do anything … people will stare at me.

Those were just excuses.

And if those excuses sound familiar, it’s because you’ve probably used some or all of them at some point of your life.  It might not have been the gym.  Maybe it was your relationship with God or going to church.

Sometimes the very thing we need, we avoid. Because we are afraid or intimidated or worry that we won’t know what to do.

The very place I could go to get healthier, was the place I avoided for so long.

As I was laying on the floor feeling like I was going to die or at the very least, die of embarrassment, I remember thinking “there’s no way I want to come back to do this again.”  I didn’t die that day.  In fact, I’ve continued to go to the gym on a consistent basis ever since.

I’m not sure if there’s something place in your life – whether that’s a physical or spiritual place – that you are avoiding.  Just know that you probably won’t die.  You’ll get healthier.  You may even get a free power bar out of the deal.

I Don’t Know Everything

This may come as a shock to you, but I don’t know everything.  I used to say to my wife, “Well, if I had all the answers … well, then I’d have all the answers.”  Profound, I know.  Feel free to tweet that (seriously, I feel like half the tweets I see are people quoting really smart people).

I had an earlier blog site that I actually titled “But What Do I Know”.  Renaming it using my name pretty much says the same thing.

There was a time when I thought I knew more than I really did.  It’s called being younger.  I’m sure ten years from now, I’ll realize how dumb I am now.  I’ll re-read this blog and think, “Wow, you said a lot of dumb stuff.  You thought you knew a lot, but you really didn’t.”  Then I’ll take off in my flying car …

I was thinking about this concept as I’m readying myself to go to a radio conference in Orlando tomorrow.  I know – California last week and now Florida this week.  Future me would say it would have been a whole lot better had I gone to these places in say, February.  Anyway, I can remember early on in my radio career when I really thought I knew everything.  I was convinced that I could walk out college and into a morning drive show in Chicago, because I was so smart and talented.

I did become program director of a small Christian radio network in Virginia at the age of 26.  Probably more of a reflection of how small of salary I commanded, than my abilities.  But for me, I was on my way.  When I was first hired there, I was the youngest person on staff, yet I was the PD.  Yep, I thought I was pretty smart.

Going to these Christian radio conventions, I always thought of the crowds in terms of the “haves and the have-nots”.  Those who “got it” and those that didn’t.  After all, there is a lot of bad (but well-meaning) Christian radio out there.  Even smarter, future me  would agree with that.  I definitely thought of myself as one of the people who “got it”.  And to some extent, I’m sure I did “get it” in my young, inexperienced ways.  But I hadn’t arrived like I thought I did.  Far from it.

I’m pretty sure I said and did lots of dumb stuff.

Then at one point my radio career, I was no longer an on-air personality or program director.  I worked in promotions and later management.  It was during this time that I was able to reflect on those early years of radio and realize – I didn’t know as much as I thought I knew.  It was perspective.  I was older.  I was like future me, but future me for the younger me back then.  Not to be confused with present me and the future, future me.  I’m proving my point about my lack of knowledge …

But that realization of not knowing as much as I think I know (or thought I knew) was both humbling and liberating at the same time.  There’s something fabulous about not knowing all the answers.  It’s even more fabulous not feeling like you have to pretend to know all the answers.

So when I moved back into programming and being on-air at K-LOVE and Air 1 (my friend and current PD of Air 1, Paul Goldsmith, pointed out to me how I generally neglect to mention my work at Air 1 in my blogs.  I explained it was out of simplicity that I just refer to K-LOVE since that’s where I just worked.  So Air 1, Air 1, Air 1.  By the way, Paul truly is smarter than everyone in the room and is 10 years younger than me).  Where was I?  Anyway, I changed my approach and wanted to move into those roles as being more “teachable”.  I was surrounded by all sort of smart and talented people.  Instead of pretending to know it all, why not be a sponge?

Imagine not having the pressure to be the smartest guy in the room?  Imagine hiring people who have skills and strengths that you don’t have and not being threatened by that?  Imagine being okay with not knowing everything and letting others know that?  That’s pretty freeing.  At least that seems smart to me, but what do I know.

Food for Thought

I have food issues.  Several, different food issues.

For one, I’m a picky eater.  Like, me and my kids pretty much have the same preferences in food.  I often find myself wishing I could just order off the kids menu.

Two, I’m not the healthiest of eaters.  My family used to joke that the only vegetables I eat are candy corn and jelly beans.

Three, doing dishes freaks me out.  I seriously get the heebie-jeebies at the thought of touching plates with half-eaten food on it.  I’d rather scrub a toilet, than clean dishes.

And that’s just part of my food issues.  When I was younger, it was easy for me to go almost the whole day without eating.  I’d barely eat for survival.  My mom used to warn me that if I don’t eat, my body will essentially cannibalize itself – “your body will start eating away at your internal organs if you don’t eat” she would exclaim!

I used to be extremely self-conscious eating in front of people (every once in a while, I still am). Lisa Williams, who I did the K-LOVE morning show with, said she went a year working with me and never saw me eat.  That maybe I was not human.

But today I ran across a food issue that I’ve encountered a few times in my life, which was – is it okay to be eating now?  Meaning, is it appropriate that we are eating at this moment?

A friend and I just sat down for lunch at a Mexican restaurant today, when paramedics rushed in to help an older gentleman at the table directly behind us.  I’m not sure what was ailing him, but he didn’t look great.  There were like 5 paramedics and a gurney.

It was a bit surreal to see all of this going on just a few feet from where we were sitting.  It was even more bizarre to watch people within close proximity continue to eat.  Maybe they were thinking, “me being hungry and my food going cold isn’t going to help this guy.”  I’m not sure what I expected them to do. Paramedics were there after all. It’s not like they leaned over and said, “Hey, are you going to finish that burrito?”

It was mildly disturbing to see this one woman seem genuinely put-off that she had to move her chair and table a bit, while they were trying to lift the man onto the gurney.  The nerve of this near-lifeless man!  Can’t a person just enjoy enchilada without EMT cramping my style?  When you’re done putting on that oxygen mask, could you get me a refill on my Mountain Dew?

Reminded me of the time my wife and I went to this one church’s Easter Passion play and they had a concession stand.  There’s something disconcerting about seeing Jesus being flogged, while the person next to you is eating nachos.

Maybe it’s just me.  Maybe the people today thought it was just some avant-garde lunchtime “dinner theatre”?  It’s lunch and a show! “That elderly man is very convincing!”  Come back next week to see “Cats” and grab a Chalupa!

Full disclosure – we were moved to a different table and did eat as he was wheeled out.  My friend also prayed for him when he blessed the food (that’s how awesome and spiritual we are!).

But something seemed off.  Am I weird for feeling this way?  Or is this just another one of my food issues?

Thinking the Best

I can remember years ago when David Letterman was obsessing about wanting to have Oprah on his show.  It was a running joke that he wanted her to be on, but she wouldn’t give him the time of day.  That she apparently disliked him.  One day when Oprah’s pal Dr. Phil was on with Dave, Letterman asked him why Oprah wouldn’t come on the show?  Why doesn’t she like me?  Dr. Phil’s answer was classic …

He said something to the effect of “she doesn’t hate you.  You’re just not on her radar.  If you knew how little she thinks about you, you would be offended!”  Meaning, you are obsessing over her, but she’s not even thinking about you – much less sitting around thinking about how much she dislikes you.

But that’s how we can all be at times.  We sometimes default to thinking “the worst”, rather than the best when it comes to people we encounter.  I’ve been there.

I can remember managing a group of people who all worked in independent offices all over the country.  They were separated from me and the mothership, if you will.  I remember an all-staff memo that came out saying that even salaried employees had to keep a time card – logging in and logging out when they work.  Many on the team automatically assumed it was directed at them.  ”Don’t they trust us?”  ”It feels like ‘Big Brother’”.  When in actuality, the new policy had zero to do with them. I wanted to break out Dr. Phil’s line on them.

A friend of mine recently dealt with something similar.  It seemed like everything he did, his boss questioned his motives.  Whether it was calling in sick or a comment he made on Facebook.  He read into the seemingly most innocuous things and projected the worst. The feel was – “What are you trying to get away with?” The reality was nothing of the sort.

We’ve all been there, though. How many times have you geared yourself up for a fight or a potential confrontation, because of how you interpreted an email?  You know, when you practice everything you are going to say and all the come backs to everything you assume they’ll say.  You stay up late stewing over the projected slight.  Then you find out, you totally misinterpreted the situation.

I ain’t no Dr. Phil, but I’m guessing this stems from our own insecurities. Our own fears.  Maybe we’re projecting the worst in someone else, because that’s the way we feel – not necessarily how they feel.

And at what cost?  Think about the time you spend worrying about these kinds of things.  And what about the emotional energy we put ourselves through – often times getting worked up over something that many times isn’t something worth getting worked over about!

How would your day be and how would your overall well-being be, if today when presented the opportunity to pass judgement on someone or some situation, you assumed the best, rather than the worst?